best boyfriend ever

sooooo just have to let everyone know that i have the best boyfriend ever. let me tell you a little about my saturday morning. sooo the 6th Harry Potter book came out on the 16th (which was incidentally saturday) and i had to work at 5:00 am and who had gone to Solutions at midnight, purchased said book and then left it on the front seat of my car??? my darling philip. WITH a note returning my debit card saying that he bought it himself. AND he searched through the whole pile to get the best-looking one. AND he stood in line for like 30 mintues. AND i've been really irritable lately because i work so much. WHO is the best boyfriend ever? it's phil.

perplexed

i'm in a really wierd place right now. everything inside me JUST wants to do what I want and gets angry when i feel like i have to or should do something else. like even small things like cleaning up after people. i just feel really on edge and irritable and i'm not sure what's wrong with me but my insides are rebelling. i just want to scream.

what i wish i was doing right now... 

the usual pain and suffering

i just have to get this off my chest cuz it's there everyday. i can't help it but i think about Britt everyday and it just tears me apart. just the thought of her and everything that happened just flashes through my mind like how i found out and the funeral and everything and then just knowing that someone i love and probably the most undeserving person has died. it just hurts so deeply and i have to control myself so i don't just break down wherever and whenever. nothing has ever evoked emotion in me as quickly as this does. i planned to visit her grave ever since i came home but i just don't know when to go and it's like i'm putting it off but i just don't know what will happen and how it will affect me and it just sits on my heart and hurts. i saw her mom in superstore and i almost cried it was horrible. death is stupid and i hate it.