looking forward

life without fear

2011-10-12T10:31:00.003-07:00

Click for original blog link - ElizabethEsther.com

*Nope, i'm still not writing my own words. Instead, regurgitating things other people say that make me think. The original post is "Mothering without fear", but i am not a mother, and this post totally relates to life in general*

When Jesus shows up on the morning after our biggest failure, He doesn’t judge, scold or say: “I told you so.” Instead, he cooks some food for us. And then he says, “Come eat breakfast.”

It’s been a terrible week. Peter has denied Jesus three times. Judas has hung himself. Jesus is dead. And now, the one thing they know how to do–fishing–isn’t even working. They’ve fished all night and caught nothing (St. John 21).

But it’s morning now, a new day. And from the shore, some crazy dude is calling at them to let down their nets on the right side of the boat. It’s a deja-vu moment. Just a couple years ago, they’d spent a similar night fishing without success. And when Jesus told them to let down their nets, Peter was like: “Yeah, we did that already.” But they did it anyway and their nets started breaking, their boat sinking with how many fish they pulled in.

Could this be happening again? So, they let down their nets and yes, the haul is huge. John, the little disciple–the only one who didn’t abandon Jesus when He was dying–is the first to recognize Jesus.

He nudges Peter, “It’s the Lord.”

Peter is just so in it he doesn’t even realize what’s going on. He’s so enmeshed in the nets, grappling with the details of what needs to be done that he needs John to point out the bigger picture: “It’s the Lord.”

Peter’s like: “WHAT?!” He looks up and squints toward shore. That’s when it all hits him. It’s Jesus. It’s Jesus. Jesus is ALIVE? That means it’s ALL true! Everything is NOT lost!

And I love Peter, here. He’s stripped naked for work. He’s way out on this boat. But that doesn’t stop him. Peter just totally bails off the side of the boat and thrashes for shore. “It’s the Lord! It’s the Lord!”

You’d think Peter would stay on the boat, all ashamed. You’d think he’d be the last one off the boat to greet Jesus. You’d think that after his big, public humiliation, Peter would just keep to himself and tone it down a bit. But he doesn’t. Peter is so human. Peter knew he had failed and messed up. Maybe he was so downhearted that the other disciples didn’t want to let him go fishing alone.

And so, Jesus came to them. Jesus didn’t wait for them to get their act together. He just showed up without judgment, without anger, without saying: “I knew you’d go back to fishing!” Jesus met them right where they were, right in the middle of their failure, their discouragement, their lame attempts at going back to fishing.

And after breakfast, all Jesus wants to know is if Peter loves him. Jesus asks three times–the same number of times Peter denied him. The three-fold affirmation of love expels the lingering doubt of betrayal and Jesus commissions Peter to do His work.

This is the only way I can mother without fear. I am going to fail and probably miserably. There will be times when it seems all is lost. God’s silence will sometimes make me think He’s dead.

Jesus understands. He doesn’t expect me to be anything other than what I am: human. Jesus won’t show up and scold me. He’ll call out to me in the middle of my futile fishing. He’ll watch me thrash toward shore, smiling at my wild abandonment. He’ll feed me breakfast.

And then He’ll ask me if I love Him.

If I have love, then I have everything. And if I have His love, then I have nothing to fear.

*Amen*

The Yellow Handkerchief

2011-08-30T19:34:00.002-07:00

we finally watched this a few weeks ago - it was absolutely beautiful. Do yourself a favor and watch it.

2011-05-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

since last week's report of Osama Bin Laden's death, i have wondered how i should react/feel as a Christian. today i read an article that explores that topic and i really appreciated it. please read this article.

a must-read

2011-05-04T16:10:00.003-07:00

my friend susie is working at an orphanage (i think) in Africa, and she recently posted this story, which really got to me, and i wanted to share it with y'all.

Little Hands

I walk casually into the dining room as the kids are finishing up their

supper. I haven’t said a word, but the perky flowers and sunshine of

the ‘special bag’ on my shoulder have spoken volumes. I’m

immediately swarmed and surrounded as all the kids start speaking at

once-

“Oh!! Are we baking Aunty?”
“Aunty Susie isn’t it the girls are baking today?”
“What are we baking? It’s the boys turn right??”
“But the girls baked last time, how aunty….”
“Angege aunty, It’s not fair!”
“Mmmmm I’m hghallaring, what are you baking Aunty?”
“Can I carry your bag?”

After I deliver the news of whose turn it really is, we hear the groans of

those who are so misfortunate as to have to wait till next week, and the

victorious shouts from those who had to wait outside the kitchen last

week. So our little flock moves to take over the kitchen. I take a deep

breath, preparing for the chaos that is sure to follow, grinning in spite of

it all. Meanwhile the while the dialogue continues-

“What are we baking Aunty Susie?”
“Can I mix the eggs?”
“But my chair was here first!”
“Can we have sugar???”
“She licked the spoon Aunty!!”
“Aunty I haven’t had a turn yet…”
“Can I clean (and by that, they mean lick of course) that spoon?”
“Can I have my turn, I’m mixing that right?”
“Do we get to eat them now, don’t say tomorrow after school!”
“Where is the chocolate pieces aunty, can we have some?”
“This is going to be good…”
“Aunty I’m going to sit here and watch them till they are finished baking!”
“Haibo Aunty- the boys are coming in! Not fair!” “Ngiphusa amansi!” so I

step in to mediate, “ok young man, drink your water, then shesha hamba,

go play ok?”
“Mmmmm kumnandi kakhulu Aunty…”
“It’s toooo nice!”

And so it goes. After an hour I’m exhausted from having 10 rambunctious

sweeties squirming underfoot, from the noise, the heat in the kitchen

(since it obviously has to be kept closed to keep the other kids out :) and

from keeping the peace. I’ve guided little hands, laughed a lot, reshaped

cookies, chatted, cleaned, gave directions, and hopefully encouraged little

hearts. And generally speaking, we have a blast. I’ve always loved baking,

and now being able to bake with kids, for some of them this being a brand

new experience, it adds a whole new excitement. The cookies may come

out lopsided, the icing not quite right, the cake a little overdone, but the

results and smiles are worth a million bucks every time.

The other day a thought occurred to me. When I bake, I let the kids help

me, but why? To make my life easier?? Umm… no. It would be more

efficient, less stressful, and less messy if I just went and made the cookies

on my own. But those little hands are so eager to learn, to experience, and

feel useful and valued that I delight in giving them opportunities and also

just letting them know that they are loved.
Now if we who are earthly desire to do good things with our children, how

much more isn’t it that way with our heavenly Father?

God has the power to give life. He created from nothing. He’s the king of

the universe! Wouldn’t He be so much better off if He just spoke world

peace into being, spoke rebuilding into areas of disaster, or spoke instant

healing into every wounded heart? Perhaps- if He wanted robots. If He

didn’t love us. If He wasn’t willing to sacrifice His convenience to allow us

to ‘help’ Him. He uses our little hands even tho we often cause more

damage than already exists. He longs to guide us, to lead by example, and

give constant direction and affirmation- if we’re willing to listen. He does

all this because He loves us.

So I’ve realized God doesn’t need me to serve Him. He’d be better off

doing things Himself than using me in my weakness. But He loves me so

enormously that He desires for me to come near Him, to learn from Him,

and find my value in Him. And so I shall.

Here I am Lord. Take my little hands.

movies and being sick

2011-03-01T14:14:00.003-08:00

do NOT watch "the six wives of henry lefay". i spent the last half hour or so just waaaiting for it to be over. now, i wasn't expecting it to be anything special, but i did expect to be entertained, which i was not.

however, we also watched "it's kind of a funny story" which is about a boy (which is the name of a different movie) who is depressed and thinking about jumping off a bridge, but decides to check himself into a mental hospital instead. the movie follows the 5 (or was it 7?) days that he's a 'patient'. it's not exciting, but it's interesting and definitely has moments. i think that if you have watched and liked the movies i wrote about so far, that you would like this one.

in news about me, i am sick. it started with a sore throat last week, which was fine, i can deal with the scratchiness and the loss of voice, but monday night it turned into keep-you-up-all-night phlegm & mucus fest, followed by one of the worst bloody nose episodes i have ever had. i have gory details, but i already backspaced them to spare y'all. anyways, so i stayed home from work (can't even remember the last time that happened), and have mostly been sitting on the couch staring at screens and snacking, interrupted though by yet another bloody nose episode. yuck. phil is being very lovely, and is not at all phased by me with blood all over my face, and has already washed blood out of my pajamas. maybe that just sounds gross, but it sounds like love to me ♥ luckily, it is his day off today, so even though i feel like poo, we still get to spend some time together (watching the OC) AND he's painting some end tables we bought off pvonline! i'll post the before & after shots when we're all done.

well that's a little about me, until next time.

10-5-Now

2011-02-18T13:05:00.005-08:00

something fun for your Friday afternoon:

10 years ago... It was 2001

(the pic is a little later than 2001 but it's the earliest one i could find)

1.) How old were you? 16
2.) Where did you go to school? GVC
3.) Where did you work? good ol' McDicks
4.) Where did you live? with my parents
5.) Where did you hang out? at various friends homes or my own
6.) Did you wear glasses? of course
7.) Who was your best friend? Phil thought that's why we hung out lots ;) but probably Lori
8.) Who was your crush? Phil (unbeknownst to him)
9.) How many tattoos/piercings did you have? 4 (2 in each ear)
10.) What car did you drive? my parents car, a Taurus (unless i got a ride to work, i can't remember)
11.) Had you been to a real party yet? i guess not, but we called our huge group hang-outs 'parties' didn't we?
12.) Had your heart broken? nope
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? single but crafting plans

5 years ago... It was 2006

1.) How old were you? 21
2.) Where did you go to school? no school
3.) Where did you work? Rona (eek!)
4.) Where did you live? 8th Street in our first house
5.) Where did you hang out? at our house mostly i think
6.) Who did you hang out with most? Phil and friends
7.) Who was your best friend? Phil
8.) Who was your regular-person crush? all done with crushes :)
9.) How many tattoos did you have? zippo
10.) How many piercings did you have? 6 (3 in one ear, 2 in the other, and 1 in my nose)
11.) What car did you drive? 1989 Honda Civic
12.) Had you had your heart broken? Not really
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Married for 15 days ♥

Now... 2011

1.) How old are you? 26
2.) Where do you work? Wolfe Pac Consulting
3.) Where do you live? Galaxie Bay in the house we built
4.) Do you wear glasses? yes i do
5. Who do you hang out with most? parents, siblings, Lori, Autumn & Eric
6.) Do you talk to your old friends? some of them :)
7.) How many piercings do you have? 6
8.) How many tattoos? none still
9.) What kind of car do you drive? 2006 Volkswagon Jetta
10.) Has your heart been broken? Not in a romantical way
11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Married for 5 years!

elvis & annabelle

2011-02-11T13:32:00.002-08:00

phil & i watched this together, and we thought it was great! the premise sounds like it'd be a bit disturbing, but it's not, it's really touching. it's definitely a story you've never heard of before, and the characters are really likeable. it has that small-town-America feel that always makes me want to go on a road trip through the states. so far i'm 3/3 on my movie choices :D

my birthday

2011-02-02T16:07:00.002-08:00

i turned 26 last Saturday, and phil pretty much planned an entire weekend just for me! first he drove me to work on Friday, which i figured meant either that we were going to go to Winnipeg after work, or that someone was going to come from Winnipeg and pick me up. It turned out we did go to Winnipeg, starting at Moxie's for supper (yum). We had a really nice waiter who promised not to sing at me when he brought my birthday dessert :D next we went to U-Putz for some black-light mini-golfing - and I won!! it's only fair you know. I didn't know where we were going next, and we kept driving on Pembina as if we were going home...and then he turned into the Four Points Sheraton parking lot!! he'd packed a whole suitcase so he wouldn't forget anything, and he didn't! he brought enough clothes for an entire week lol. the hotel had just recently been completely redone and it was gorgeous. and then i found out that he had the entire NEXT day planned as well! i was pretty excited. on Saturday we went to Cora's for breakfast (i had the Surprise - it's for real), and then he had planned either a day of vintage/thrift shopping, or a day of mall shopping (i had to pick 'old' or 'new'). i picked a bit of both, which was a good idea cuz i found some AWESOME boots at the Ruby Slipper vintage shop, and got really great deals at the malls cuz everything is still on sale from after Christmas. and (can you believe it) i only spent half the amount that phil said i could! that is crazy for me. he said we had to be done shopping by 6 so we could make our supper reservation. so after stopping at luke and krysten's for a bit, we headed out. except...we headed ALL the way out of Winnipeg! i didn't ask though, and once we turned South at the Rosenfeld corner i knew we were going to Bravo's in Altona :) we had originally planned to go on Thursday on our anniversary, i guess he didn't make that reservation though :P the food was really good. then we headed home, which was good cuz i was TIRED after my whirwind weekend. i am very impressed that Phil planned everything and kept it all a secret (from me even!). It was really awesome and i felt very special. happy birthday to me!

the greatest

2011-01-26T19:50:00.003-08:00

this movie is about a family who's son is killed in a car crash, and how they deal with their grief AND the fact that his 'girlfriend' (long story) is now pregnant (!)

i thought this movie was pretty good, it had some really great moments, and was only slightly lame a few times. so far i really like carey mulligan as an actress, and i've always like susan sarandon (she plays the mom).

i give it 3 1/2 stars.

ps. is it just me, or have there been a lot of movies about babies/being pregnant out lately?

2011-01-23T06:27:00.003-08:00

i wish i blogged more often :P

i've been working for two weeks doing bookkeeping. i like bookkeeping. i work with really great people and the office is gorgeous, but is definitely in the middle of nowhere lol. i've never (well, before vancouver that is) 'commuted' before, and i think even the 20-30 minutes it takes me might not actually qualify as a commute lol. but i don't hate that part as much as i thought i would, it's a good time to pray and listen to music. i got through one of queen's greatest hits on friday and am looking forward to the other one tomorrow lol.

today we are having a family lunch for my birthday (which is next weekend) cuz my dear sister has been invited to go to florida with her boyfriend's family and is leaving ON my birthday. i wish that was my birthday present lol. anyways back to the lunch. i have requested pot roast with potatoes and carrot and raisin delight, which i am VERY excited for. and so i didn't drive my mom too crazy, i agreed that a blizzard cake would be sufficient for dessert lol. but i've never had one and i'm excited.

anyways, i should really get up cuz we have sunday school in less than an hour. that's right, i'm going back to sunday school :D

2011-01-18T20:27:00.002-08:00

for the record, Flipped was a beautiful movie, and you should watch it.

movies again

2011-01-15T10:55:00.004-08:00

well, it's been almost a year since i did this last: i've compiled a list of movies that i want to watch. in no particular order, they are:

don't worry, the list gets better :P

i'm pretty excited.

2011-01-02T20:34:00.002-08:00

alright, i'm back from my/our little hiatus, and if you're still interested in my thoughts, you can find them here henceforth :) and yes, i do the smilies :D

i'm going to do a new blog....

2010-07-07T21:59:00.003-07:00

to detail all the new adventures, but i already made a photobook tonight and it's almost bedtime...maybe :P so here is a quickie:

listening: Dashboard Confessional (specifically, "Screaming Infidelities" which is awesome)
eating: nothing, but my mouth still tastes like dark chocolate m&m's
drinking: water
wearing: sweatshorts and T-shirt
feeling: kinda yuck what with aftertaste in my mouth and beach/unclean hair up in a bun :P
weather: HOT today! like +32! we went to the beach :)
wanting: books, cd's, and clothes!
needing: loaf pans so i can bake bread
thinking: about whether i will take the 70% off photobookcanada.com deal or if it is not worth it... (it's a long story)
enjoying: all the free time!
wondering: if i will do all the things i said/thought i would do with all my free time :)

2010-04-27T13:41:00.003-07:00

- the weekend *sigh*

*update*
- everything was fabulous

i might be getting tired of this format, just a heads up.

2010-04-22T13:18:00.003-07:00

- Christina & Jordan's camping shower on Sunday!!!!!
- a free Saturday with which to get a lot done!
- Steel Magnolia's with Autumn & Eric tomorrow!
- hanging out with Dana tonight!
(i know those are not in order)

*update*
- the weekend and weather were fantastic!
- i muchly enjoyed my Cora's breakfast with M&M :D
- i haven't heard anything from the photobook people :(

2010-04-16T14:01:00.004-07:00

i hope my sitemeter is broken, because otherwise, no one has read this since...february? actually...meh.

i am looking forward to:

- +20C this weekend!! if you need me, i will be outside. or inside applying sunscreen.
- breakfast with Marcia and Meagen on Sunday!
- ordering photobooks this weekend! (and then i will be looking forward to when they come)

and finally,
- what are you looking forward to?

we interrupt the current format for a stupid question

2010-04-09T14:12:00.001-07:00

Sympatico.ca (the site that follows you logging out of hotmail) asks:

"Casual sex: is it for you?"

Um, no. and it isn't really for anybody.

2010-03-17T14:19:00.002-07:00

- weekend (always)
- Christina's shower on Sunday

*update*
- the tights arrived! :O i really love the color of one pair, and am confused as to why i ordered...peach :S
- Jordan and Jeff did NOT get eliminated on the Amazing Race (YESSSS)
- i love survivor always (ok not ALways)
- the warm temps were not so warm, and the sun did not shine :(
- my bag arrived too! the color was not quite what i expected, BUT it is gorgeous nonetheless. I can't wait to start using it!

2010-03-12T07:46:00.003-08:00

THIS:

it's coming all the way from Greece, (see her site!) and it's already in Canada!

- the warm temps promised for Saturday and Sunday
- watching Survivor at lunch
- the Amazing Race on Sunday (i hope Jeff and Jordan don't get eliminated!!!)

*update*
- no tights or tax return yet, but we the donations we claimed were audited and we just finished sending in THAT paperwork, so it'll be awhile yet :(
- the marriage conference was great, we learned a lot and laughed a lot :D
- this week is almost over too!

2010-03-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

- this week being over :P
- the marriage conference this weekend

*update*
- we won all the hockey gold medals!
- Christina's musical theatre performance was really fun
- no sign of my tax return or my tights yet :(

2010-02-22T07:56:00.003-08:00

- watching Canada play Finland today in Women's Hockey
- the arrival of my tights from welovecolors.com
- my tax return!
- Christina's musical theatre performance on Saturday

*update*
- my hoodie is AMAZING and i wore it for 3 days straight
- survivor is awesome and i love it

looking forward

2010-02-05T20:27:00.004-08:00

I've decided to blog about things i'm looking forward to, however big or small. It may or may not last :)

So right now i am looking forward to...

*the arrival of my hoodie made by MungoCrafts on Etsy

*the new seasons of Survivor and The Amazing Race

movies edited

2010-01-27T07:09:00.021-08:00

*for those who wanted reviews, i give you my crappy attempt. i am not a movie critic*

i am on holidays this week, and i am watching all the movies that i've always wanted to see. so far i have watched:

4/5: i've often been skeptical of christian-made movies, and this one did have a few cheesy moments, but as a whole i thought it was really well done. I enjoyed the humor moments with Mr. Rudolph (their neighbor), and the fact that the plot was solidly based on Christian faith. Glad I watched it.

3/5: i love Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. SO FUNNY. plus there's John Krasinski, so really, you can't go wrong. There were a lot of moments that made me laugh out loud (one being Mr. Krasinski's character entering the kitchen one morning in a too-small girls pajamas), and others that made me cringe, but i appreciate the film's honest look at relationships. I might watch it again.

5/5: this movie made me like Jason Bateman. And that is a feat let me tell you. I loved this movie! It's actually hard to describe...it made my heart feel full and like i'd learned something. I thought the 4 main characters did an excellent job.

4/5: i LOVED that character of Miss Pettigrew, and all her straight-forwardness and wisdom. the story plays out in actually 1 day, and is full of the glamour of the 30's-40's. Amy Adams is a great air-head who needs to choose between a career and love. Watch for the character of Joe, who is a welcome level-headed character.

5/5: i have waited YEARS to watch this movie, and it was well worth it! (if you can't find someone to watch movies with you, just watch 'em yourself) i loved the way John Cusack's character loved his adopted son unconditionally and went to great lengths to prove it to him. I also liked that you couldn't quite tell if the boy was from Mars or not...until the end of course ;)

4/5: i don't mind slow-moving movies so i liked this one about a man who gets laid off and decides he wants to swim across the english channel. I watched this one with Phil and he liked it as well. Very heartwarming, with comic relief provided by Billy Boyd :)

2/5: there really are only women in this movie, and i didn't really like it. There were too many aspects, i find myself not really liking New-York-lifestyle storylines, annnnnd i don't like Meg Ryan. blah.

2/5: i liked that the girl was happy all the time and just made light of everything, but i didn't like the creepy parts where you weren't quite sure if everything was going to be alright. And it wasn't nearly as funny as i had hoped. another one of those they-put-all-the-funny-bits-in-the-commercial ones. wouldn't watch it again.

4/5: i appreciated that this movie was a real look at how someone might deal with the death of a loved one, even if it was heartbreaking and sad. so if you're looking for something to put you in a somber mood, watch this movie.

5/5: this movie was GREAT. i absolutely loved it. i love Emily Blunt, i loved the story, the end.

and i have yet to watch:

green

2010-01-26T06:26:00.004-08:00

i typed "green" into weheartit.com and this is what i came up with:

today's thoughts

2010-01-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

this is a quote from one of my fav survivors ever, Rob Cesternino. He said it as he cast his vote at one of the tribal councils:

"Here comes tonight's long distance dedication. It goes out to Rob from New York. He writes, 'Dear Casey, there is a mean old man in my life that's about to leave. Can you please play something appropriate for me?' Well, Rob, here's your request. Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye…"

i wish.

yesterday

2009-12-10T08:11:00.003-08:00

long story short, i was in the left lane of the highway, the semi was in the right, he had pulled out of the weigh station but still had his signal on, so i waited long enough until i figured he'd forgotten he had it on and started to pass him. THEn he decided to start turning left onto the approach coming up (across two lanes) aaaannnd i slammed on the brakes but realized i wasn't going to stop in time and SMUSH. I don't have any broken bones, i'm just extremely stiff and sore. BUT i am extremely thankful to God that that's all that's wrong with me.

this is CUTE

2009-10-21T08:13:00.001-07:00

20 things

2009-10-08T13:38:00.008-07:00

1. Show us the inside of something cute

2. What's the last homecooking you had?
i think noodles and sausage and carrots my mom made for supper on...Monday?

3. What do you miss? (alive)
hawaii, free time...

4. What makes you laugh often?
most recently, pink panther rehearsals, and besides that, probably phil

5. What's your favorite word?
ummm...weekend?

6. What are you trying to quit?
embarrassing habits

7. What's your favorite commercial right now?
one of my all-time fav commercials is the castrol one where the guy says "i'll have a burger, fries" - and then sludge falls all over his car - "and some extra napkins?" in this helpless voice that CRACKS ME UP!! i actually started laughing just typing this. it's just so funny. too bad i can't find a clip of it. good thing is they still play it!

8. Whose style do you dig?
Ashley Simpson used to have good style, Natalie Portman, hmmm. i'm drawing a blank.

9. Link to a great blog you've discovered lately...
www.cardswap.ca
ha i just ready this over and realized it said blog.

10. What's the last craft you made?
an apron believe it or not!

11. A photo of the last happy mail you got :]
i didn't take a pic, but i got a gift cert for photobookcanada.ca

12. Something you've got lately?
i just ordered 2 Dala cd's, the movie "Grind" (one of my all-time favs) and a classical guitar album. I'm pretty pumped.

13. What are you looking forward to?
moving into my house. come onnnnnn house!

14. Post a recent snapshot of yourself.

15. Recent Favorite Movie?

16. Something you're working on right now?
worship team music for Oct.25th

17. If a movie were made about you, who would play you?
hm. emily blunt.

18. What gives you goosebumps?
coldness. and Across the Universe soundtrack - "Let it Be", specifically the lyrics "i wake up to the sound of music" you should hear that lady sing.

19. Share a new obsession.
gleeeeeee!

20. What's the meaning of your life
to represent Christ.

summer in 9 minutes

2009-09-15T14:20:00.011-07:00

...so last week, when summer started...JUST KIDDING.

*highlights*
- Las Vegas trip with Lori, Tamara and Kendra at the end of July

- checking "visit the Grand Canyon" off my bucket list

- Luke & Krysten's wedding on August 9th (playing a special song for them)

- Clear Lake at the end of August

- Christina and Jorden getting engaged!!

- putting some manual labour in at my own house

- discovering my shameless love of some phat beats incl. FIRE BURNING!!

- my dad knowing all the lyrics to the aforementioned phat beat :D

- manymany southwest salads (lettuce, corn, beans, salsa, ranch, tortilla chips)

- So You Think You Can Dance

- camping with Phil

photoshoot

2009-08-17T07:53:00.005-07:00

so me and my sister Heidi did a photoshoot with kararheaphotography a couple of weeks ago and...the pics are here! check them out!

i bought this today!!

2009-07-29T13:39:00.002-07:00

and i'm really excited :D

how to decide what to do with your life

2009-07-02T06:55:00.002-07:00

[after reading some tedious articles online re: this, i have come up with my own recipe.]

1. put on something fancy
2. watch clouds float by for 1 hour
3. eat 1 medium apple
4. sing "ba ba black sheep" at the top of your lungs
5. twirl around in circles until you fall down

and then you will just know.

Challenger!

2009-06-22T12:28:00.002-07:00

This weekend phil and i had the pleasure of taking part in a survivor-type challenge thing put on by the lovely Redekop girls! There were points for the top 3 of every round, and sometimes -1 for the last place or if you didn't finish. Here's what we did:

#1 - a relay: first you tied another opponents roll of hockey tape to their stake, then you untied your own, and had to use the tape to attach your pieces of wood to the bottom of your shoes. THEN you had to run down a hill to the boardwalk (morden beach), and then back up and grab whatever numbered stake was left (to determine places). I think i got like 9th or something. (out of 12) phil got 3rd!

#2 - i couldn't remember this one for the longest time and now i know why: i'd blocked it from my memory: sit-up endurance: basically, everyone does situps til there's one person left. i did 13 LOL.

#3 - slurpee eating contest: we all had extra-large slurpees (mine was red, phil got cotton candy lol!!), and had to eat them as fast as we could. Most people opted not to finish theirs, i got..4th or 5th i think. phil got 2nd or 3rd. i should've just pushed past the chest-freeze. oh and we couldn't use our hands.

#4 - beach race: we had to use 2 wood blocks to get across the sand, then dig a hole under a plank, crawl under the plank, cut a key off the plank, use the blocks to crawl across the sand to the digging spots, dig for a treasure box, unlock the box, eat the gumball (the huge ones), then go back the way we came. i think i got 6th. i don't remember what phil got.

#5 - torch building: we had to answer a series of math problems, which would lead us to another problem, but also instructions to make our torch. we used wood stakes and cloth soaked in rubbing alcohol and water (wrapped around the stake), lit with matches. I got 2nd and phil got 1st!

_end of day 1 (friday)_

#6 - rescue race: to start, we had to put on a tiara, a boa, fairy wings, and carry a sword. we rolled an exercise ball across 2 balance beams, then through a barrell, up that huge flight of stairs, to bob, who needed to be rescued (a full-size dummy). then you had to come all the way back, but this time carrying bob. anything you dropped or any part of bob that was lost was a time penalty. i made it back to the 1st balance beam and tried that about 7 times and gave up. yes, i am a quitter. i think phil got 4th by like 3 seconds. oh no wait, they gave him 3rd cuz bob's shoe was already off when he went to pick him up. lol.

#7 - squats endurance: we all stood with the backs of our legs against the boardwalk, and sat down/stood up when Shannon yelled "up!" i beat out...3 people i think, phil got 5th.

#8 - food: there were 3 stages: snails, liver & onions, and seafood salad. it was a LARGE can of snails. like twice the size of a normal tuna can. I ate half the can and then threw up in my mouth. the thought of swallowing the puke back down was grosser than thinking about eating the second half of the can, so i turned around and hurled. that disqualified me (oh well!) if any of you know phil, you will know that he did not participate in this challange :D the liver in the next stage was like a paste, and the onions were pickled. i'm sure glad i did not finish those snails. the seafood salad had octopus, squid, muscles, some peppers & carrots, but basically a bunch of cartilidgey blech. But three people ate it!

#9 - baby oil toss: we were in 2 teams, and had 2 bags of water and 4 boce balls to toss down the line and end up in our bowl. And everything was greased with baby oil. i was at the start for my team, and we won! phil was unfortunately on the losing side :(

#10 - agility race: agatha said they actually use this in some sort of training. anyways, it was basically run to a post and back, then weave around some posts and back, and then up to a post and back, and then back the way you came. we scored the guys and girls seperate and i tied for 1st! (out of 3 girls but who cares?)

#11 - puzzle: we were in pairs, and we had to each take a turn walking blindfolded out to a ceramic jar hanging from a tree, carrying a bat, with your partner guiding you. smash the jar, run back to your partner. after both jars were smashed, you went to retrieve the pieces. then you assembled the puzzle. my team won!

#12 - sudoku - I got 2nd. after phil announced to everyone that all i do all day is do sudoku at work. thanks phil.

#13 - grappling hook - retrieve three plastic rings (all varying distances away) with a grappling hook, then turn around and throw the rings at a stake (they had to hit). i don't think i placed in this one.

#14 - food: garlic bread! except garlic, and bread. we each had a roasted BULB of garlic to eat. i had one clove lol. phil stuffed them all into the bun and was almost done when he decided he couldn't eat anymore :( i didn't finish cuz i didn't want to smell like garlic all week, but phil doesn't, so i'm kinda bummed i didn't try harder.

#15 - planking (endurance): i beat all the girls, and even a couple of the guys i think! they said if i beat all the guys i would get 20 points, but i'm not that strong. and after seeing how long they actually went, i'm glad i didn't try!

#16 - balance on one leg: we did this as a bonus challenge, for some goldeyes tickets darren had. it was hard to keep the non-standing leg against the standing leg! i did not win the tickets. buuut i also don't like baseball :D

it was a GREAT time, and i'm so proud of myself for eating all those snails!

coldplay

2009-06-16T14:01:00.004-07:00

best concert ever! balloons and butterflies falling from the ceiling, EXcellent musicians, all the best songs sung heartily, even some tears during "Fix You". probably one of the best times of my life.

do yourself a favour:

2009-06-12T06:30:00.004-07:00

take a tortilla shell (definitely NOT a tomato or pesto flavoured one), spread half with peanut butter, and half with nutella. Slice some banana and arrange them somewheres in the middle of the tortilla, roll up, and eat for the rest of your life.

pithy

2009-06-02T13:15:00.002-07:00

"Pith!" is over :( i had a thought on Sunday, before our last show. I was thinking about how we've been trying our darndest to get people to come out and see it. I made my Twitter, Facebook, and blog advertising spots for the show the entire week leading up to our performances, and i sent out a mass text and email! I was completely focused on getting the word out. why? because it really is a wonderful show, and we honestly didn't want people to miss out on the experience. We put a lot of effort into making it what it was; a lot of hours spent trying to create something the public would find enjoyable, even thrilling. i hate to say it, but it was disappointing to see a less-than-half-full theatre every night.

here's the comparison (maybe you saw it coming):

God's got a pretty good thing in the works for us. He's been working pretty hard, making a lot of plans, and He knows it's something we'd find enjoyable, even thrilling. The problem is, people either don't know, or don't care. They don't know anything about it, and so why would they put any effort into going? That's where we come in. We've got a taste of how good it is, and we can tell them that they're gonna miss out if they don't come along. We don't even have to just tell them. We can show them by how we live. My new favorite quote is from St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words".

i can't think of anything else to say.

Pith!

2009-05-28T06:38:00.005-07:00

As you may or may not know, i'm going to be performing in the show "Pith!" this weekend at the concert hall! It's the story of a woman who's husband disappeared 10 years ago in South America, and she hasn't come to terms with the inevitable. Don't let that fool you though, it's a serious production by no means! The woman's companion and a just-landed sailor take her on an imaginative journey to the place where her husband was last seen, and their adventures are nothing short of hilarious! I encourage you all to come see this fabulous show! Tickets are $13 for adults, and $9 for 12 and under. Shows are Thursday, Friday, Saturday at 7:00pm, and Sunday at 3:00pm. Please come out and support local theatre!

hawaii!

2009-05-23T18:38:00.010-07:00

here is my attempt to recap my trip to hawaii 2 weeks ago:

we landed in hawaii 3pm local time on Saturday, which was 8pm at home, so we weren't really up for much. But we did go to a local burger place and ate burgers the size of my head! (no exaggeration!) the place had about 40 different kinds of burgers; mine had avacado and swiss cheese on it - mmmmmmm! then i'm pretty sure we just unpacked and went to bed. We stayed in a sweet condo that had a pool about 20 feet from our deck.

the next day was sunday, mothers day, so Dana and i made pancakes for breakfast! we went to a gorgeous beach that day, there was a rock reef that separated the lagoon from the ocean, so no waves, just crystal clear water! you have to watch out for the sea urchins though.

the next day we spent a bunch of time at another beach, where Dana got beat up by the waves, and some creepy locals tried to pick us up, but we were not having it lol. i think we had mahi mahi for supper that day, and blue marlin? i'm not sure, but it was fish and it was GOOD. (we bought groceries at costco and made most of our meals at our condo.)
next day we went shopping at the shops near the Hilton resort, and i bought a necklace from Tiffany's!! I'm pretty pumped to finally own something from there.

went to Bubba Gump's Shrimp for supper, right on the ocean, great time.

The next day we went in search of a green-sand beach, which is green because of a mineral called olivine that was created when magma cools (if i understood correctly). anyways, we thought it would be a short walk, but it took an hour to hike there, and i was wearing a dress, a bathing suit, and flip flops. if we'd had a jeep we could've driven there, but instead we trekked like the isrealites. here's the beach and my feet after walking there!

next day was volcano day!! on the way, we stopped for malasadas, kind of like a boston cream donut, but warm and filled with chocolate cream. so good! we also stopped to see akaka falls. then we drove to the...summit(?) of the volcano , saw a lot of steam vents, and finally the main...hole i guess, itself.

after that we walked through a lava tube (tunnel created by flowing lava), and lastly went to the site where the lava flows into the ocean. we went there just before dark, and as it got darker you could see the clouds glowing redder and redder. we didn't see any actual lava sadly, and our guides said last time they were there it was a lot more active. i bought a sweet picture off a guy who has a boat and goes dangerously close to the flows.

the next day we got up unnecessarily early to go to a bay in an attempt to see dolphins in the wild. We kayaked around the bay a bit, didn't see any dolphins, and visited the painted church before heading back to our condo. In the afternoon, we went snorkeling!! i LOVE snorkeling!! we were barely into the water and we could already see fish all around us! it was extremely cool. we also touched sea turtles, which is apparently illegal. oops!

the next day we just hung out at the pool and lounged until a luau! we got lei'd, drank mai tai's (love 'em!), watched dancers, and ate the best pork i have ever had! (roasted under the leaves in the sand of course)

the next day we went to the Hilton to see dolphins (in captivity). we just walked right in! the hotel/resort is so big, they have a train and a boat to take the guests around. we took a boat tour on our way back ;)

this was also the day we had to fly home :( we stopped in to visit dana's brother dustin and his wife cherie at the ywam base where they were helping with a "skate against drugs" skate comp. we got free pizza! lol then we packed, went to the airport (which is completely open-air by the way), and began the l-o-n-g trip home. hawaii was wonderful and i will definitely be back!

eight

2009-04-28T09:11:00.002-07:00

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
- moving this weekend
- my new house
- coldplay in june
- hawaii in 2 weeks!!
- las vegas in july!
- luke & krysten's wedding
- clear lake in august
- quitting all jobs - whenever that will be
8 Things I Did Yesterday:
- worked
- went to a worship meeting at church
- helped my dad install a kitchen (i nailed on kickplate!)
- ate cereal for nightlunch
- improvised making mac and cheese in the microwave cuz all our dishes are packed!
- went for a run with Lori ♥
- downloaded the last episode of the Amazing Race
- shopped for new couches online
8 Things I Wish I Could do:
- dance
- design & sew my own clothes
- run a marathon
- bungee jump
- eat ice cream and cake every day
- see Paul Mcartney in concert
- wear fancy dresses out to events
- make biscuits properly (it's so frustrating!!)
8 Shows I Watch:
(I don't have tv.... but I occasionally watch if we're at our parents' places)
- Survivor
- Amazing Race
- The Office
- Biggest Loser
- ANTM
- 30 Rock
- What No To Wear
- Jeopardy
8 Favorite Fruits:
- navel oranges
- gala apples
- bananas
- anjou pears
- pomegranates
- saskatoons (NOT blueberries)
- raspberries
- strawberries
8 Places I’d Like to Travel To:
- New Zealand
- Egypt
- Isreal
- Australia
- Newfoundland
- Spain
- Minneapolis (i just wanna go shopping!)
- Alaska
8 Places I’ve Lived:
- Winkler (in 3 different houses)
- Abbotsford, BC
(haha that's all folks!)

good friday

2009-04-10T13:55:00.005-07:00

this is what has struck me about easter this year:

you know that all the sins of the world were put on Jesus when he died on the cross, but i thought of it in a different way this year. the lie you told yesterday, the things you'll say behind someone's back next week, those particular things were put on Jesus, and he paid the penalty for them. it's not just a vague "everything in the world", it's every individual thing that any one person has ever said, thought or done. that is a LOT of people, and a LOT of sin. why did He do this? we don't deserve it, and we certainly can't ever pay him back. it's hard for me to comprehend that kind of love, that not only did he know all the horrible things we would do, he took them on Himself and paid for them. He loves us enough to offer us unconditional grace when it comes to sin. these thoughts may be a little here and there, but i think you get my point. happy easter everybody.

25 things about me

2009-02-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

i've been tagged by a couple people now, and i've been meaning to do this. be forewarned, if you thought i was strange before, you haven't overestimated me.

1. i do not step on cracks if i can help it. lori, i don't know if you've ever noticed how i take wierd, quick steps over the railroad tracks when we run, but that's why :P i also have a counter going where if i skip a step on stairs, or step over a crack etc, it counts as positive points, but if i step on a crack or step on all the stairs, it counts as negative points...the goal is to always have a positive balance...i can hear you dialing the nuthouse...

2. my fashionista side is dying. i don't even match my underwear to my clothes anymore! did i say that out loud?

3. i stole phil from his then girlfriend. i kissed him, and made him be mine. the rest is a complicated history, but it has turned out fabulous for me ♥

4. i ran a 5K this summer! i have never been remotely close to athletic, so this was a major success for me!

5. if i have to have a job, i like my job. if i didn't have to, i wouldn't miss it.

6. i downloaded and watched all 4.5 seasons of the office over christmas break :)

7. i am afraid of children, and also having them.

8. i LOVE cereal. cereal is my favorite. Kashi GoLean Crunch w/ saskatoons is particularly excellent.

9. i have been to England, Ireland, France, Germany, Italy, and Mexico.

10. when it comes to food, i suck at self control :(

11. i like to know everything, even things that aren't my business, and i am working on that.

12. it wish i was more important to people. sometimes i wonder if it's them or me.

13. i think the original hummer is sexy.

14. i really like wearing glasses!

15. i think about excercise so much that i actually think i've done it.

16. i gave a stranger a ride home this winter.

17. i had a fresh start to my relationship with God in October and it's going really well. I'm learning a lot.

18. i....don't remember the last time i cried.

19. i LOVE classic rock. off the top of my head "Kashmir" (Led Zeppelin), "Oh Darling" (Beatles), anything by Queen...

20. i try not to worry about all the books i won't have time to read in my lifetime.

21. i have a spending problem :)

22. after 24 years, i don't know how much more winter i can take.

23. i think me and Stacey London would get along GREAT.

24. i just want to go travelling. specifically to Egypt, New Zealand, Greece, and Australia (short list).

25. i'm getting old and don't want to stay up late anymore :P

please read this

2008-12-04T10:20:00.001-08:00

This is from Brad Hueberts blog

Status Quo Churchianity

This isn't profound. It ain't rocket-science. It's not a secret. But we pretend it is. Oh yes. Status Quo Churchianity is founded on these basic principles, which often end up becoming steps (religion does that):

1. Show up regularly at church. With bells on. And a smile. And your best "I'm doing fine" face.

2. Tithe as you can. Or not. Don't sweat it, God'll get 'er done on what the other people give.

3. Serve somewhere in church. Or not (see #5).

4. Give lip service to God during the week, but mostly, live for yourself and your own priorities. Add maybe one fifteen minute prayer of desperation if things get a little too hairy for your liking, which means that your own priorities and comfort are being challenged. If you really want to feel spiritual, add one or two devotional moments where you suck back spiritual food other people have chewed for you. But no more than that. No need to get radical or anything.

5. Fill up your schedule — and I mean, right to the brim — so that you can more easily justify saying no to God, no to ministry opportunities, and no to the people in your sphere of influence that need help and Jesus. Because Jesus doesn't really want to be your life, just a part of it.

6. Live with a vague sense of guilt and a strong dose of personal malaise. Oh well. Such is life.

7. Repeat.

Now, the scary part. Look in the mirror. Is this you? Are you okay with what you see?

***

my little note: if this is you, ask Jesus to change you. Be a rebel.

it's only been 3 weeks...

2008-11-18T07:06:00.000-08:00

my relationship with God is currently undergoing some MAJOR renovations. so major, that it's hard to tell if there really was anything there to begin with. all my misconceptions and selfishness have FINALLY brought our relationship to the point where it's me or Him, and i've chosen Him all the way. Right now there's a lot of growing pains goin on, as i've done life pretty much on my own terms until now, but He's teaching me to trust Him, to let go of my control, and He will show me His ways, which are SO NOT MINE. This is pretty much the hardest thing i have ever done, but learning to let what i know to be truth overpower everything else.

halloweeeeeen

2008-11-01T13:56:00.002-07:00

we cut it close deciding if we were gonna dress up (for the record, i would dress up for anything...but no by myself), but here's the end result! we are the quarterback and the prom queen! aren't we special :P

peek inside my head

2008-10-08T13:43:00.002-07:00

so....i think in facebook status's. seriously. i drive around and think "holly is such and such". and usually they're pretty good status's, but by the time i'm in front of a computer, they've all disappeared. or i have like 10 at once, and there's only room for one at a time...boooooo. anyways, they're pretty entertaining, but i wish i could share them with people so they could be entertained too! am i making sense yet? anyways.

i don't know what i want. do i want to move? do i want to build a house? do i want to pursue some sort of career? - that one would definitely involve a move i think. when do i want to have kids? i'll start with the first one.

do i want to move? yes and no. i don't want to move because i'm comfortable here. i know where everything is, i know a lot of the people, my family is here, my friends are here. i know (okay i'm not 100%, but i'm pretty sure) that i would not be able to find a job with bosses like mine anywhere else. reasons why i wouldn't mind living somewhere else are: i could get a job at something besides a restaurant, a big-box store, or as a bookkeeper/receptionist/secretary etc. there's way cooler jobs out there. the weather is becoming an issue: i'm not sure how many more winters i could make it through like last years. i don't even want to get through this years if it's going to be like that was. so i would want to move somewhere with milder temps. and maybe some different scenery. like mountains. i could live somewhere with an amazing outdoor gym: hills, long flights of stairs, hiking trails i don't have to drive to, more than one path to run on. when i think about this decision, things that are important to me or that i am passionate about come to mind:
- organic food, especially if it's local
- being active, prefferably outside
- clothes/fashion, having the opportunity to buy something unique, like at a boutique
- movies, especially independent ones, playing where i live
- yoga, being able to go to a class where i live
- music, not having to drive 1½ hours to get a cd i want

i want access to anything i could possible want, without having to live in a big city. this topic makes my brain hurt; it opens up a flood of reasons for both sides. so i don't know what i want.

recant

2008-09-24T11:59:00.001-07:00

ok, i take back what i said about not knowing what i believe. i know what i believe. it's just deep down and a little ignored.

this is tough

2008-09-22T09:44:00.002-07:00

the latest casualty of my less-than-stellar relationship with God seems to be my moral compass. Now lets not freak out here, i won't be holding up your neighborhood convenience store or anything foolish like that. I'm noticing issues that are grey to begin with, seem to be getting greyer. Like maybe i figured out what i believe at some point, but i've forgotten what i decided, and not i'm not so sure. I'm glad, though, to have awesome people to talk to, so i'm not completely alone with my crazy thoughts. oh belive me, you do not want to know everything that goes on underneath my fabulous hair ;)

my new favs!

2008-08-08T08:18:00.001-07:00

i looooooove when stuff comes in the mail!

2008-07-25T11:54:00.004-07:00

i believe abortion is murder.
i believe sex before marriage is wrong.
i cringe when i hear the f-word.
my heart breaks for those who suffer miscarriages.
i hate what "modern medicine" can do to our bodies.
i believe homosexuality is a sin.
i believe in sins.
i believe in God and Jesus.
i hate anything crude and/or vulgar.

and. i don't think or believe any of these things because someone told me to.

drugs

2008-07-23T12:10:00.002-07:00

today is not a good day. i decided in my infinite barely-conscious wisdom to take a gravol pill at 6:30am to ease my upset stomach (i blame too many saskatoons). you probably all know the story of my taking nyquil at 6am and feeling like a load of bricks the rest of the day, well, this is pretty much the same. no wonder i slept til noon on Sunday after taking a gravol. so i'm dragging myself around the office today, and i just had an inner giggle fit over a customer's business name: Gouw's Quality Onions. ONIONS!!! hahahahahahahhahahahahhahahha! oh dear. i don't have many more thoughts to day past "gosh i'm tired" and "how will i make it through the afternoon?" and i'm trying to figure out my weekend and i can't put together any decent strain of thought (no i didn't mean to say train) so i may just end up staying home. i had the worst blizzard of my life yesterday, we weren't even home and it was already soup, and had all of 3 reece's peanut butter cup pieces in it. AND the ice cream tasted like...like...all my brain is coming up with is "shit"...i meant to say plastic. it was gross. i keep forgetting about the time we made our own at home and it was awesome. i must do that again. and i have to go grocery shopping today, but my family wants to go to ballet in the park. my mouse icon is creeping up the screen all by itself...creepy. ok it stopped. um have a nice day.

2008-07-03T14:16:00.002-07:00

rain:
1. i hate money
2. this job makes me angry and depressed
3. there are no holidays in july
4. i don't have time or motivation for anything fun

parade:
1. i'm in a play
2. phil is wonderful
3. summer
4. new board games

2008-06-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

so for the last oh 4-6 weeks i've made a meal plan (for suppers) every weekend and had my shopping list ready for shopping-day-tuesday. and then this weekend my desire to do that completely vanished. i'm no longer interested in planning (or cleaning for that matter, apparently) and making meals. well i am, but i don't want to put in the effort. i want to make cookies and muffins and cupcakes. somehow i've managed to make it til thursday and i don't think phil has noticed. today is the first official cfl day, and we'll be watching football from 6-12 probably. i was thinking of just having a bunch of snacks for supper, because we'll be on the couch all evening anyways. but i hope i get back on the wagon again, it's nice to create something everyday.

yesterday autumn and i went to channel swim. i managed to make it about 24 laps (12 if you count there and back as a lap) i think, didn't really count, was more focused on breathing. she taught me a new stroke though, where you only kick your legs. i'm not sore yet, but i expect to feel it this evening.

i had a much better day yesterday, but today is back to the same old boring in which i pretty much finish my work by 8:30 and then peruse the internet for the remaining 4 hours. i have 28 minutes left to kill. in the eternal words of garfield: "AAARRRRGH!"

2008-06-24T20:58:00.001-07:00

this picture represents how i'm feeling today.

2008-06-23T14:23:00.003-07:00

part of the message on Sunday was "if you knew you had 3 months to live, would you do things differently?" well of course, but i hate that question. what are you supposed to do about it - quit your job? so...what happens when the money runs out? it doesn't really matter if i don't want to spend the majority of my day sitting at a desk at a job, because i can't not. sometimes life seems great, but then Monday comes and i remember that 40 waking hours out of 75 Monday-Friday are spent in a crappy office with loud airconditioning that makes it impossible to dress for the outdoors, the possibility that i will be royally cheesed off by someone at least once per day, and the attitude that your job = your life. i don't have that attitude, and i hate the fact that i spend most of my time here. it's like this every Monday and i hate going to bed because i know what comes next. i'm just really depressed about this right now.

Thursday

2008-06-20T07:28:00.002-07:00

Yesterday Phil managed to finagle the first pair of Blue Bomber season tickets from Parkside! The seats were really great, we were right in front of both great passes by Dinwiddie and near the end zone where they got their touchdown! too bad it was an exhibition game. (they won 19-16 against Montreal) it was a really great evening, and it was nice to sit in a section where people care more about the game than the beer (okay may only a little more, but it's better than the endzone!). thanks for the date babe!

disgusting

2008-06-18T06:38:00.000-07:00

This pin was being sold at the Republican state convention in Texas this past weekend. Wow.

2008-06-06T06:42:00.002-07:00

I will be successful
I won't always wash cutlery in the dishwasher
I think a LOT
I should pray
I could go to Israel next year
I would be a housewife
I didn't write "sex" on the shower window
I look better than i did before
I hear rain, thank God
I hurt when you hurt
I hope phil can bike next summer
I love phil
I hate money
I fear tragedy
I crave dessert
I don't like hummus
I need to feel loved
I feel sticky
I regret saying dumb things
I care what other people think
I am short
I listen to whatever people want to tell me
I hide my diary
I sing when i bake
I write how i think
I play piano
I miss my dorm room at CBC
I learn when i trust the teacher
I'll always love you
I say whats on my mind
I don't think many people understand me
I love weekends
I worry that something bad will happen to phil
I can't stand country music
I lost a lot of rings when i was younger
I dance verrrrrrrry rarely
I believe in Jesus
I know I am wierd
I fell in love again this year
I always pretend i'm in a movie
I wish I was taller
I cry at sad commercials
I want you to show you care
I have it all under control

2008-05-29T09:44:00.003-07:00

just something cute phil said to me yesterday:

"could you please stop giving away everything good you make?"

(referring to the nutella scrolls I made last week and gave half to Dan & Rhonda, and the strawberry/rhubarb crip I made yesterday and gave a third to our neighbors)

2008-05-20T08:47:00.002-07:00

soooooooooooo the long weekend. we started off with a garage sale in Killarney, which would've been a lot nicer if there hadn't been any wind, but me and phil defied it by going for a bike "ride" - read: tried to stay vertical whilst pedalling a bicycle. phil's step-grandpa is starting to have alzheimers so there were a few tense moments when he found stuff she was trying to sell that he wanted to keep (even though he can't really use them). yikes. it's just not like my family get-togethers. there's not a lot of organization, mostly people just sit around and make small talk, eat everything but fruits and vegetables, and waaaaaaaait for time to pass. but i made 2 breakthroughs: they ate all the muffins i brought (usually they don't really touch my efforts), and i got an email from phil's grandma saying she was blessed by myself and phil's help this weekend (verrrrry out of character, i was pretty shocked).

next we rented "i'm not there" which i thought was a biography on bob dylan, and i was really excited to see Cate Blanchett take on the role, but it turned out to be 7 depictions of his personality or something played by 7 different people with 7 different names - one of them being a 10-year old black kid (!?!?!?). luckily, eric and autumn called and wanted to bring over "reign over me" to watch instead, which we gladly accepted, cuz we LOVE that movie.

on sunday we lazed about (ok i lazed about and phil helped his parents with stuff at their house), until the evening when we went to the triple ("21", "88 minutes", "vantage point"). we tried to drag dan and rhonda with us, but they opted out (smart, in hindsight). instead we snagged matt and tammy. i loved "21", but "88 minutes" was awful. waaaaaay to gory and disturbing for my mind. i watched 2 episodes of friends before i felt comfortable enough to go to sleep, making it about 3 a.m.

yesterday was a bike jam at our house complete with b.y.o.m. barbeque. me and tammy played wii for a while but ended up sitting outside from 3 til probably 8:30. the guys from wpg showed up with vegie burgers (!) and hilarious personalities so we were pretty entertained. me and autumn went for ice cream at the iceburg later in the evening, and although i had planned to finally make up some sleep, we only drifted off around 11:30pm. and now i'm exhausted and back at work. funnnn times.

communication

2008-05-18T15:15:00.003-07:00

this is a culmination of too many of the same instances.
it began two Christmas's ago when phil's grandma emailed me to tell us to prepare something for Christmas morning, and i didn't get it/check it, so on Christmas morning all the little kids do their thing and his grandma says "well phil and holly, what did you prepare?" and embarrassment and indignation ensued.

most recently one of our pastors emailed phil asking us to make a poster for something at church, but he needed an answer by the next day, so we never got back to him. and now yesterday my mom emailed me to ask if i would get a worship team together for June 8. and the only reason i checked before tuesday is because she called to ask if i'd gotten her email.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT AND/OR TIME-SENSITIVE TO TELL ME, FRICKING CALL ME ON THE FRICKING PHONE. the end.

2008-05-16T06:53:00.002-07:00

first let me warn you not to spend any time or money on "The Assassination of Jesse James etc.etc." worst.movie. it is unbeLIEVably slow, very dark, barely interesting, yuck. And this is something coming from me, because i would watch "Castaway" again and again. I can't even remember a movie i thought was boring. but oh.my.goodness. this one takes the cake. I did notice once again how much better an actor Casey Affleck is than his brother Ben, though. But you can watch any of his movies to see that. don't say i didn't warn you.

i haven't done my devotions since the last time i posted; i'm still stewing on the last one. i'd like to try one of those chronological bibles that reads like a story; no chapter or verse markings. (i'm going through a semi-colon phase, did you notice?)

the other day i went for a walk in the on-again, off-again rain to listen to the new dcfc album - i love that walking lets me really listen to music, and that i can get in my walk without really paying attention - and i was let down a little. i guess "Plans" was SO great, SO refreshingly different...i dunno. i remember the beginning of one song reminding me of any pop song on the radio (shudder); it just didn't blow me away. i did find a couple of songs that i could really get into, but i'll have to listen to it again (likely on the way to Killarney tonight).

it's raining again, and i'm bored, and i feel listless. I have no lists!! haha.

clearing my jumbled mind

2008-05-12T07:21:00.002-07:00

i gotta say, there is going to have to be more for me to do around here; i don't do well with boredom. (or punctuation, but who cares). it seems like mondays are getting harder and harder to deal with. on one hand, i love my job, but i'm starting to think that i only love it as far as if-i-must-have-a-job. i would honestly much rather be at home, straightening, organizing, cleaning, just getting things done in general. annnnnnnd i don't care if i'm a housewife for the rest of my life. i had a thought yesterday that we are probably going to want to build a house before we have kids...which forces me to think about when i'd want to have those. i've always thought late twenties, but that means we have to build in the next 5-ish years, which is a lofty albeit not impossible dream, but it will take discipline. we're getting better, but we're not perfect. i just love my shopping! and it's far too easy to blur the line between need and want. i want to focus my energies on being outside, exercising naturally, baking, cooking, reading, collecting music...yeah. i finally did devotions for the first time in years yesterday, i don't have anything to follow, so i just read the chapter that contains my favorite verse: Phil 2:13 "For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him." My favorite because when i feel like all the things i'm supposed to do to be like Jesus are just too impossible, i am reminded that it's not on my own strength (thank God). Anyways, another verse stuck out to me that i've got highlighted and everything: V.4 "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." i have definitely been having issues with self-centeredness, but i think i've been getting better. but i have noticed that i don't get a chance to talk about myself with anyone really, i'm always asking about them and how they're doing. honestly, most of the people i know either don't take much of an interest in others, or they pick and choose people to take an interest in. i want someone to ask about my day and how i feel about this or that; genuinely care. which leads all the way down to just wanting to feel loved. not just be loved, feel loved. and we shouldn't have to cry out for that. like dan said in church last sunday: if we are really christians, all the food cupboards in winkler should be full to overflowing. likewise, everyone around us should feel loved. another one of those impossible tasks, but then i remember my favorite verse.

lighter fare

2008-05-07T08:54:00.001-07:00

my new favorite salad!

lettuce
chicken
roasted red peppers
feta cheese
italian dressing

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

2008-05-06T09:24:00.003-07:00

i am so bored, i must blog.
it seems every sunday in church, the message i get is "be a better person" (put VERY simply). aren't we always trying to better ourselves? isn't that the subliminal goal we're always striving for? orrrrrr is it one of those things we sort of think about sometimes, but we don't do anything about. now i'm curious, am i actually doing anything to be a better person? since sunday i've tried not to speed (don't bother arguing with me about who cares about speed limits), and i've thought a little more about loving others and seeing them the way Jesus does (HARD for me), but there again, i've only thought about it. but it's hard to start being a better person if you don't know what that looks like. for example, there's this college and career bible study our church has, when it started i considered going, but now that i know some of the people that go...i don't really want to be sharing my thoughts and feelings with (for lack of a better word) "uncool" people - i know it's so high school, but really, honestly, that's what i think. Jesus was friends with everyone, why is that so hard for me? I believe i care less now about what people think of me, but apparently i still care enough that it guides my actions and thoughts. So what happens is i get frustrated with this area of being better, and i stick with what i'm good at: giving, encouraging. Hey, i can give a kind word to anyone, whether i like them or not. I can put the encouragement note in the mailbox and mean it. I am currently (honestly) unwilling, however, to take a relationship further if they're not "my" kind of people. I don't want to be spending my time with people i have no interest in. This is SUCH an un-Christian attitude that it disgusts me, and i don't know how to change my attitude until i remember - Jesus is the one that changes you. Which would be a great breakthrough, but that involves spending time with Him, and not just me speaking and Him listening. So this is where the stand-still is. i even have a plan and time set aside to fix this...but i have yet to start.

what i have learned from listening to the eagle:

2008-04-30T10:28:00.003-07:00

the 80's and 90's were largely devoid of any musical talent. i'm so sick of every song they play. so sick, that i refuse to listen to it anymore. my car rides are sadly very quiet, but i just can't bear turning the volume knob up. i need a station that plays only the "now" part of 80's, 90's and now. a local station though. juuuuust garbage.

in hopes of shortening the next 1/2 hour...

2008-04-11T14:01:00.002-07:00

top fives...
5 things you can't live without under 5 dollars:
1) lypsol (burts bees right now)
2) eggs
3) gum
4) water (no for real)
5) movie rentals
*i could probably live without a few of these things

5 favorite movies:
1) Little Miss Sunshine
2) Casablance
3) Reign Over Me
4) Pretty in Pink
5) Grind (yeeeeeeeeeeah)

5 Songs I could listen to over and over again (and do):
1) Oh Darling - Beatles
2) Fix You - Coldplay
3) All By Myself - Celine Dion
4) Dark Come Soon - Tegan and Sara
5) Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks

5 People who have had a positive influence in your life: (besides friends and family)
1) J.R. Tolkien
2) the Beatles
3) Ron Voth (college professor)
4) Tony Funk (college professor)
5) Cherie Goertzen

5 moments that changed your life forever
1) February 23/01: I kissed Phil for the first time
2) the moment i found out Brittany was dead.
3) the moment after high school when i realized there was a real world
4) my 2005 trip to Europe, b/c that's when i realized i wanted to marry Phil
5) the day i withdrew from the CGA accounting course (there were a lot of revelations that day)

5 current obsessions:
1) forever21.com
2) reading many books sporadically simultaneously
3) reality shows (too many to fit on one line)
4) fruit
5) walking/biking/running outside everyday

5 places I would like to go:
1) Egypt
2) Las Vegas/Arizona (the mid-west?)
3) New Zealand
4) Greece
5) Israel

a few things about me from today:

2008-04-07T14:02:00.003-07:00

- i waste toilet paper (do the rest of you sit there until your bums are dry?)
- ripping up jeans makes me incredibly lethargic
- i do NOT waste food, (goodbye lingerings of the lasagna i made LAST tuesday) even if i was really looking forward to the egg salad sandwhich i was going to have...
- i always cut off the tags from my clothing, or they make me itch
- i don't know how to properly take care of my car (one of my co-workers informed me that i should take a brush to the underside of my car...not going to happen)
- sometimes i just like brooding. especially if i'm wearing sunglasses.

units of time

2008-03-26T14:05:00.004-07:00

7:00-7:05 listen to the news while still in bed with eyes closed
7:05-7:15 do bathroomy things
7:15-7:35 eat breakfast/watch tv
7:35-7:50 get dressed
7:50-8:00 go to work
8:00-12:30 work
12:30-1:30 lunch
1:30-4:30 work
4:30-6:00 workout, grocery shop and/or make supper
6:00-7:00 probably still making supper, eating it/devotions *new*
7:00-10:00 watch our shows/hang out with friends
10:00-11:00 pre-bedtime activites
11:00-11:15-30 be annoyed at phil for keeping me up with his antics

check it out

2008-03-19T10:34:00.001-07:00

funny

2008-03-10T19:54:00.002-07:00

***I got this joke from Reader's Digest. It's come to my attention that it's from a Rascal Flatts song. I didn't know this because I DON'T LISTEN TO COUNTRY MUSIC. I just thought it was funny.***

Q. What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

A. You get your wife back, your job back, your truck back, your dog back...

2008-03-04T13:08:00.003-08:00

among my scattered thoughts is this one: i would like to be a better friend. i've come out of a wrestling match with "how come no one calls me" and decided that Jesus would probably be okay with being the one who makes the plans. But then (and i believe this is Satan trying to deter me) i think about all the people i would like to be closer with and it just seems like i could never do it. I feel like i'd be hanging out every evening for the rest of my life. But gosh darn it i've got to try. i've also come to the conclusion that i should hang out more with just girls on my own, like not me and phil hanging out with other couples. everyone's got all these friend pics that i'm missing out on. i feel like i haven't had any girly fun in awhile. actually i kind of cringed at that phrase "girly fun". but you know what i mean. so in summation, beware my friends, i'm coming to get you. maybe not physically, as winnipeg is a $10-$20 drive, but i will bombard you with emails and facebook messages!! haHA.

for your entertainment

2008-02-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

2008-02-22T07:34:00.004-08:00

last night Phil went go-karting with Parkside so he only got home around 12, and i tried to go to bed around 11:15 but i just tossed and turned and didn't feel like i could sleep. i don't like it when we're apart because all i do is push thoughts away that maybe i won't see him again, maybe this time is the time when i get the tragic phone call. and once you let yourself start thinking like that, it just spirals into all kinds of fears. like how many days would i take off work, would i go back to work? -this is a depressing post, maybe i should just stop here- actually i think the reason i don't like this post is because it realizes my biggest fear. i just don't know what i would do without him, i really don't know that there would be anyone else out there that would love me and put up with everything i'm about, and make me feel so comfortable. i knoooooow you can't just worry about people like that: a) it's useless, and b) it just makes you upset. like the time he had to make a delivery at 5:30 that lasted until 7:00 and i didn't hear anything from him until he walked in the door. the mind is a crazycrazy place. i feel like i can't just leave this post being just about that.

...ugh i just tried to write a funny story i heard and it came out all life-lessony and boring. i'm just going to stop here before i come to the realization that i am a boring person.

you wouldn't think it would get me so down

2008-02-19T08:07:00.001-08:00

i don't think it's unreasonable to expect some free things in life...and it's not fair when someone else gets them.

2008-02-15T14:00:00.005-08:00

so i haven't even decided if i'm going to write what i'm thinking about, because i'm not sure anyone (besides phil) even knows this about me, and i'll come off as insane and also wierd. but you are all my friends, so here goes. basically, i've now contacted a bunch of dieticians that take mental health into consideration when they do consultations, because i'm pretty sure i'm developing an unhealthy relationship with food. just a little example: mostly i don't eat junk food/desserts in front of people, because then they won't know i've eaten it (kind of like the "if a tree falls in a forest" thing). Don't worry, it's not like i'm not eating, belive me, i'm eating. Annnd i was invited to go to dairy queen for lunch on wednesday and it was this huge big dilemma for me, and afterwards i went online to find the nutritional "value" in the food i'd eaten, and i pretty much freaked out. ask phil, i was yelling. it's not like i'm obsessive about it (yet), i just want to fix it before i get there. it's probably not even that big of a deal, i just think about it waaaay more than i should. but either way, i'm not happy with my state of mind. I'm tryingtryingtrying to eat healthily, and for meals, i sure do. It's the snacks, the donuts we have at work every friday, not too mention whatever Agatha brings during the week, the cheesecake our work neighbors brought over yesterday, the baked stuff phil's mom always has at their house when we go over. And you know, i don't have to go to the lunchroom at work, but it's like, if i know it's there, it calls out to me and all common sense goes out the window, until i go eat it, if nothing else, to get it out of my head. I just went and had 1/2 a piece of cheesecake, but i know there's one piece left...good thing i go to the gym. basically it takes care of all the extras i'm eating. but that's the frustrating thing, because if i wasn't eating all that, i might've lost the 1 or 2 pounds i was looking to lose this month. color me frustrated.

2nd anniversary

2008-02-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

inn at the forks, applebees, "Juno", and a potluck with friends. OH and shopping. it was a verrrry good time.

worst.lyrics.ever.

2008-01-25T17:24:00.000-08:00

I wanna lock you up in my closet when no one's around WHY. WHO DOES THAT.
I wanna put your hand in my pocket because you're allowed oooo that's crazy
I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound so...just trying to rhyme with "around"? cuz seriously who kisses without a sound.
I wanna stay this way forever I'll say it loud will ya?

Now you're in, and you can't get out great picture of marriage there avril

[Chorus]
You make me so hot TMI
Make me wanna drop WHAT does that even MEAN
It's so ridiculous you betcha
I can barely stop STOP WHAT??? ARRRRRGH!!
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream then...maybe he's not the right guy for you...
You're so fabulous what guy takes that as a complement?
You're so good to me baby, baby
You're so good to me baby, baby

I can make you feel all better, just take it in just..take...it...in...does..not...compute...
And I can show you all the places you've never been laaaaame
And I can make you say everything that you've never said AGAIN. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
And I will let you do anything again and again oh avril, you don't mean that

Now you're in, and you can't get out (you know my thoughts)

[Chorus]

Kiss me gently
Always I know KNOW...WHAT???
Hold me, love me grovel much?
Don't ever go overuuuuuused

(repeat ridiculous chorus)

this song actually makes me kind of sick, because it's such a "i love you so much it's AWEEESOMMEE!" song and shows NO lyrical or musical talent whatsoever. am i making too much of a deal? probably, but those are my thoughts.

i suppose, what makes me happy

2008-01-14T07:51:00.000-08:00

so it looks like today will be 8 hours of alternating which hand gets to be warmed by the heater whilst the other attempts to maneuver the mouse. this office doesn't just have a draft, it has many drafts. at least they gave me a heater to put under my desk.
i love weekends. i like to make lists of all the things (mostly choreish things) that i will accomplish on my blissful saturday off. this saturday i made rhubarb pie (first pie ever!) and peanut butter cookies. then some friends came over and remarked that every time they come over i've made something. it's a sense of accomplishment, like i'm slowly conquering the art of cooking/baking. i still don't understand how to properly use spices though.
i wonder how many friends you can have where you really have time to cultivate the friendship and make it worth something without overloading yourself/your time. in the past year, a bunch of people have sort of come out of the woodwork and i've become friends with some really great people. it's definitely an answer to prayer because it's hard to have friends that live in winnipeg who i don't get to see very often. this has actually been a really big stretch for me, because i don't like meeting new people, i'm not very good at first impressions, and i usually end up wishing there was a trap door underneath me. but the end result is that phil and i have a pretty good social life, which (and you'll probably laugh) was actually was on my list of goals of 100 things i wanted to accomplish (you know that one we wrote in grade 12). "still have friends and a life when i'm married". sorry mom, but you inspired that one. i just think life is easier with friends.

lush

2007-11-16T13:10:00.000-08:00

jen's favorite word. anyhoo, today we had breakfast and stayed out the whole day shopping - oh my poor feet. we went to H&M which sadly was a little disspointing, but i managed to spend some moolah on a coat and a sweater. then we took on Primark which is like MCC on tuesday x about 1000, with even ruder people and people changing in the aisles lol. but hoo boy those clothes are cheeeeap. $65 canadian for 3 sweaters, one dress, and 1 long sleever. we had lunch at starbucks where the girl forgot to charge me for my drink so all i paid for was and awesome egg sandwhich that had bean sprouts on it. but it's all good cuz that egg sandwhich cost me a whopping $4.50 CAD. i can buy three cartons of eggs with that (i don't cuz i buy the free range kind...but i COULD). BUT we are not thinking about the money, we are having a good time (sorry phil). umm we walked through this department store that had all kindsa designers like Ralph Lauren and D&G and Chanel and stuff but mostly only bags and jewelry and stuff, and more notably Ted Baker, of whose i own a black sweater i purchased at value village, and whose scarves cost around £35 ($70ish). eek! then we went back to camden market and finished our present shopping and then went to covent garden for supper. we ate at Bossleys i think, and i ordered lasagna but got lasagna soup which i think may have had cream mixed into everything. but the pecan tart for dessert was greeeat. then we wandered...and wandered...and wandered like a full tube station's distance and stumbled into Trafalgar square which jen had not been able to find when she was here last with Meghan, so sweet, and theeeeeeeeen we came back to our hostel where we are now glued to the dirtydirty screens. tomorrow its off to ireland!

London calling baby

2007-11-16T01:50:00.000-08:00

sooooo i just completed a marathon 14 hours of sleep. the hostel is nice, we're in an all-girls 19 bed dorm, and the internet is free! umm yesterday i landed at 8:45am and i overheard a girl on my flight saying she had to take a train to go home yet so i asked if i could go to paddington station with her and she was like "yeah 'course you can!" (in a greeeat accent) so we took the express train to paddington train station cuz that's where i was going to meet jen and this girls (Grace) train only left in an hour so we just hung out and talked. The train was not cheap, but i feel like it was worth it cuz this girl was really cool and we even ended up talking a bit about that I was a Christian and stuff. after she left then i went to some tables and basically fell asleep on one of them, and woke up in a little pool of drool (haha gross), and then i went to starbucks and had the worst hot chocolate of my life (again, i've had it there before, somehow thought it would've changed), and waited for jen. after we dropped our stuff off at the hostel we went to get "lunch" which was £1.20 for two pieces of peanut butter on toast - BUT it was reeeeeally good cuz there bread is a little different here - crunchier or something. anyways, and then we went to camden market (so cool) and i bought some cool stuff and we went to a teeny tea house that we are going back to take pictures of, and then decided to come back and go to sleep...at 6:30pm. and now it's the morning and we're going to H&M!!!!!!!! ok bye.

anyone tired of holly simpson?

2007-10-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

i'm gonna guess not, cuz no one reads this, which is reeeeeally alright with me. um, so. it's halloween, i wish i had something to dress up for, but i don't, and the 3 kids that have come to our house tonight would not care if i had. but we had our traditional sloppy joes for supper (thanks mom, i know you read this), and watched some shows, and now i'm just doing this. for lack of anything better to post, here are some random...thoughts/facts/stuff:

- i will most likely eat a bunch more halloween chocolates tonight
- my shows right now: CSI Miami, ANTM, Survivor, Project Runway Canada, sometimes the Biggest Loser, Beauty and the Geek, LA/Miami Ink, Video on Trial, and starting this sunday (!!), the Amazing Race
- i watch too much tv
- i can't believe the NDP and Bloc party (haha) are opposing the Conservatives mini-budget thinger. and i also can't believe i care.
- maybe instead of giving us all a tax cut, they should've given the money to World Vision or Samaritan's Purse or something. Geez. Somehow our bums on the street aren't as malnourished as the children in Africa and so forth.

don't even get me started!

it's fun

2007-07-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

it's mine! all mine!

2007-06-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

i won it!

10 things i wish i could do

2007-06-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

1. dance. anything really, i know i've got rhythm, i just don't know how to use it.
2. have someone follow me around with a camera snapping insanely attractive pictures of me all day.
3. just go travelling for like a year. all over and stay at decent hotels instead of sketchy hostels. i'm not much for meeting new people or partying, so i wouldn't miss that scene.
4. look the way i feel on the inside. you can't see it, but i'm 5'11 with perfect measurements and a fierce walk.
5. not work and get more done at home (lame i know, but it's true)
6. sew my own clothes.
7. speak fluent high german.
8. have conversations with some celebrities to see what they're really about
9. go back and do grad differently
10. discover a hidden treasure

whatever's in my head today

2007-05-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

now to be deep and insightful. yearight. well, i applied for the 50% Secretary position for Emerado school in fall, and i think it'd work out well if the other 50% of the time i did what i'm doing now for Pete's, cuz really, that's all the time (if that) it'd take. PLUS. then i have an "in" in the secretary circuit, and maybe that can be my job for the rest of my life. but the other things i've been thinking about are going to school for either a)dietician or b)certified (maybe general) accountant. what to do, what to do. i'm a little scared about actually studying again, as i don't remember it being a big party. we'll see what happens.

on the superficial front, i got new running shoes!

one life

2007-05-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

we as a youth group participated in World Vision's One Life program, which for $17 gives one child food, water, health care, counselling, etc. for one whole year. we started about a month ago with this simulated journey of what an african child goes through; their entire life affected by hiv/aids. then we had a series of bible studies about social justice and what our part should be as "wealthy" north americans. something that has really stuck with me through these talks has been the verse that says something along the lines of "to whom much has been given, much will be expected". we as people with houses, cars, food, clothes, etc. have been given infinitely more than millions of people around the world, and i think it is our responsibility to assess (hopefully by way of prayer) what our part should be in making the world a better place. sure these are all cliche phrases, and maybe that's why when we hear them we pass over them without thinking. but the theme phrase for this one life thing is "you have one life. do something". anways, i didn't mean to go off on the whole philosphical aspect, i just wanted to celebrate the fact that as a tiny youth group (both jr. and sr.) of about 50-60 youth, we collectively raised over $11,000!!!! This just blows me and the other leaders away; that is over 647 kids helped by us here in winkler. at our celebration night last wednesday we had a girl come in from winnipeg/formerly from kenya to talk about her life, and it was really heart-warming to observe many of the youth reacting to the experiences she had and had witnessed. it was a really awesome experience to be a part of.

if YOU were donatella versace,

2007-05-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

what would you think when you looked in the mirror?

my grandpa is dying

2007-04-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

he's in his last days, however many there may be. he's not even eating anymore; apparently you don't need food at this point. We went to visit him last friday, Good Friday, and i wish i hadn't. it was so strange to see him lying there all weak and fragile, barely mumbling things that didn't even make any sense. strange because he was a teacher and has always spoken well. he was very smart and you could tell he thought things through before he said them. and not just because he was getting slower. one of the special things about him was that he wrote poems. I got a poem every year on my birthday in the card, and i know everyone else in his family did too. during one of the worse times of his many hospital visits i wrote him a poem. i think he liked it. i remember all of our family gatherings being times when (as we got older) we didn't really look forward to the "program" my grandpa would have prepared, because it meant all of us (kids) looking at each other uncomfortably while we waited for our turn to read some passage of scripture or obscure article that we really didn't want to. Unfortunately, these things now seem to show how passionate he was about God and not forgetting Him in the holidays (all we wanted was to skip to that part where we got candy). I didn't spend as much time with him and my grandma as i did with my mom's parents, mostly because they seemed a bit older and a tad more eccentric i guess. my brother did, he's lucky to have a few more meaningful memories. i guess no one close to us will ever die without us thinking we didn't spend enough time with them, but in this case, i know i didn't.
it just seems like such a waste, even though he had a full life and made an impact on everyone in his family. it's hard to see someone reduced to a shadow of their former selves, if even that.
i don't know how people with no faith in God make it through death. knowing that this isn't the end, that we'll all see each other again where nothing sad can ever happen, makes this so much easier to handle. so, see you later grandpa.

and i quote...

2007-04-10T13:41:00.000-07:00

"You can't date if you're famous. [...] It's like you travel so much and it feels like the options are endless. People think getting a new partner is like getting a new car." - Orlando Bloom

so....people never get new partners??? i think he's forgetting the oh say millions of us who don't just "get" new cars. jerkface.

things sundae has claimed:

2007-04-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

things with bite marks:
1. silver old navy flip flops
2. fun bag from mcc
3. countless books
4. the coffee table
5. the dvd shelf
6. the couch
7. my rag rugs

things that were absolutely destroyed
1. lululemon pants
2. faaavorite flowerish flip flops originally from walmart which were perfectly molded to my feet
3. classic black old navy flip flops. they've now changed the style and heidi says they're not as comfortable
4. peed on my brown jacket (it is currently being dry cleaned)
5. blue like jazz book borrowed from christina
6. black cutie shoes from mcc, and she's lucky because i was about to bring them back there

hair

2007-03-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

i cut eric's hair for the second time on monday. sadly it didn't turn out as near-perfect as the first time, however, if he'd let us pierce his ear, he would have passed for an 80's pop star. short in the back, long in front, slightly mullet-looking, maybe he'll start a new trend. or maybe the trend will be let-your-friend-cut-your-hair-and-then-pay-for-a-real-haircut-anyways. either way, i had fun. thanks eric ol' buddy ol' pal.

profile

2007-03-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

socks

2007-03-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

really

2007-03-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

sheets

2007-03-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

who's your mommy

2007-03-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

snow

2007-03-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

mud

2007-03-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

2007-03-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

looking forward

life without fear

The Yellow Handkerchief

a must-read

movies and being sick

10-5-Now

elvis & annabelle

my birthday

the greatest

movies again

i'm going to do a new blog....

*we interrupt the current format for a stupid question*

looking forward

movies *edited*

green

today's thoughts

yesterday

this is CUTE

20 things

summer in 9 minutes

photoshoot

i bought this today!!

how to decide what to do with your life

Challenger!

coldplay

do yourself a favour:

pithy

Pith!

hawaii!

eight

good friday

25 things about me

please read this

it's only been 3 weeks...

halloweeeeeen

peek inside my head

recant

this is tough

my new favs!

drugs

Thursday

disgusting

communication

clearing my jumbled mind

lighter fare

what i have learned from listening to the eagle:

in hopes of shortening the next 1/2 hour...

a few things about me from today:

units of time

check it out

funny

for your entertainment

you wouldn't think it would get me so down

2nd anniversary

worst.lyrics.ever.

i suppose, what makes me happy

lush

London calling baby

anyone tired of holly simpson?

it's fun

it's mine! all mine!

10 things i wish i could do

whatever's in my head today

one life

if YOU were donatella versace,

my grandpa is dying

and i quote...

things sundae has claimed:

hair

profile

socks

really

sheets

who's your mommy

snow

mud

we interrupt the current format for a stupid question

movies edited