just something cute phil said to me yesterday:

"could you please stop giving away everything good you make?"

(referring to the nutella scrolls I made last week and gave half to Dan & Rhonda, and the strawberry/rhubarb crip I made yesterday and gave a third to our neighbors)

soooooooooooo the long weekend. we started off with a garage sale in Killarney, which would've been a lot nicer if there hadn't been any wind, but me and phil defied it by going for a bike "ride" - read: tried to stay vertical whilst pedalling a bicycle. phil's step-grandpa is starting to have alzheimers so there were a few tense moments when he found stuff she was trying to sell that he wanted to keep (even though he can't really use them). yikes. it's just not like my family get-togethers. there's not a lot of organization, mostly people just sit around and make small talk, eat everything but fruits and vegetables, and waaaaaaaait for time to pass. but i made 2 breakthroughs: they ate all the muffins i brought (usually they don't really touch my efforts), and i got an email from phil's grandma saying she was blessed by myself and phil's help this weekend (verrrrry out of character, i was pretty shocked).

next we rented "i'm not there" which i thought was a biography on bob dylan, and i was really excited to see Cate Blanchett take on the role, but it turned out to be 7 depictions of his personality or something played by 7 different people with 7 different names - one of them being a 10-year old black kid (!?!?!?). luckily, eric and autumn called and wanted to bring over "reign over me" to watch instead, which we gladly accepted, cuz we LOVE that movie.

on sunday we lazed about (ok i lazed about and phil helped his parents with stuff at their house), until the evening when we went to the triple ("21", "88 minutes", "vantage point"). we tried to drag dan and rhonda with us, but they opted out (smart, in hindsight). instead we snagged matt and tammy. i loved "21", but "88 minutes" was awful. waaaaaay to gory and disturbing for my mind. i watched 2 episodes of friends before i felt comfortable enough to go to sleep, making it about 3 a.m.

yesterday was a bike jam at our house complete with b.y.o.m. barbeque. me and tammy played wii for a while but ended up sitting outside from 3 til probably 8:30. the guys from wpg showed up with vegie burgers (!) and hilarious personalities so we were pretty entertained. me and autumn went for ice cream at the iceburg later in the evening, and although i had planned to finally make up some sleep, we only drifted off around 11:30pm. and now i'm exhausted and back at work. funnnn times.

communication

this is a culmination of too many of the same instances.
it began two Christmas's ago when phil's grandma emailed me to tell us to prepare something for Christmas morning, and i didn't get it/check it, so on Christmas morning all the little kids do their thing and his grandma says "well phil and holly, what did you prepare?" and embarrassment and indignation ensued.

most recently one of our pastors emailed phil asking us to make a poster for something at church, but he needed an answer by the next day, so we never got back to him. and now yesterday my mom emailed me to ask if i would get a worship team together for June 8. and the only reason i checked before tuesday is because she called to ask if i'd gotten her email.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT AND/OR TIME-SENSITIVE TO TELL ME, FRICKING CALL ME ON THE FRICKING PHONE. the end.

first let me warn you not to spend any time or money on "The Assassination of Jesse James etc.etc." worst.movie. it is unbeLIEVably slow, very dark, barely interesting, yuck. And this is something coming from me, because i would watch "Castaway" again and again. I can't even remember a movie i thought was boring. but oh.my.goodness. this one takes the cake. I did notice once again how much better an actor Casey Affleck is than his brother Ben, though. But you can watch any of his movies to see that. don't say i didn't warn you.

i haven't done my devotions since the last time i posted; i'm still stewing on the last one. i'd like to try one of those chronological bibles that reads like a story; no chapter or verse markings. (i'm going through a semi-colon phase, did you notice?)

the other day i went for a walk in the on-again, off-again rain to listen to the new dcfc album - i love that walking lets me really listen to music, and that i can get in my walk without really paying attention - and i was let down a little. i guess "Plans" was SO great, SO refreshingly different...i dunno. i remember the beginning of one song reminding me of any pop song on the radio (shudder); it just didn't blow me away. i did find a couple of songs that i could really get into, but i'll have to listen to it again (likely on the way to Killarney tonight).

it's raining again, and i'm bored, and i feel listless. I have no lists!! haha.

clearing my jumbled mind

i gotta say, there is going to have to be more for me to do around here; i don't do well with boredom. (or punctuation, but who cares). it seems like mondays are getting harder and harder to deal with. on one hand, i love my job, but i'm starting to think that i only love it as far as if-i-must-have-a-job. i would honestly much rather be at home, straightening, organizing, cleaning, just getting things done in general. annnnnnnd i don't care if i'm a housewife for the rest of my life. i had a thought yesterday that we are probably going to want to build a house before we have kids...which forces me to think about when i'd want to have those. i've always thought late twenties, but that means we have to build in the next 5-ish years, which is a lofty albeit not impossible dream, but it will take discipline. we're getting better, but we're not perfect. i just love my shopping! and it's far too easy to blur the line between need and want. i want to focus my energies on being outside, exercising naturally, baking, cooking, reading, collecting music...yeah. i finally did devotions for the first time in years yesterday, i don't have anything to follow, so i just read the chapter that contains my favorite verse: Phil 2:13 "For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him." My favorite because when i feel like all the things i'm supposed to do to be like Jesus are just too impossible, i am reminded that it's not on my own strength (thank God). Anyways, another verse stuck out to me that i've got highlighted and everything: V.4 "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." i have definitely been having issues with self-centeredness, but i think i've been getting better. but i have noticed that i don't get a chance to talk about myself with anyone really, i'm always asking about them and how they're doing. honestly, most of the people i know either don't take much of an interest in others, or they pick and choose people to take an interest in. i want someone to ask about my day and how i feel about this or that; genuinely care. which leads all the way down to just wanting to feel loved. not just be loved, feel loved. and we shouldn't have to cry out for that. like dan said in church last sunday: if we are really christians, all the food cupboards in winkler should be full to overflowing. likewise, everyone around us should feel loved. another one of those impossible tasks, but then i remember my favorite verse.

lighter fare

my new favorite salad!

lettuce
chicken
roasted red peppers
feta cheese
italian dressing

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

i am so bored, i must blog.
it seems every sunday in church, the message i get is "be a better person" (put VERY simply). aren't we always trying to better ourselves? isn't that the subliminal goal we're always striving for? orrrrrr is it one of those things we sort of think about sometimes, but we don't do anything about. now i'm curious, am i actually doing anything to be a better person? since sunday i've tried not to speed (don't bother arguing with me about who cares about speed limits), and i've thought a little more about loving others and seeing them the way Jesus does (HARD for me), but there again, i've only thought about it. but it's hard to start being a better person if you don't know what that looks like. for example, there's this college and career bible study our church has, when it started i considered going, but now that i know some of the people that go...i don't really want to be sharing my thoughts and feelings with (for lack of a better word) "uncool" people - i know it's so high school, but really, honestly, that's what i think. Jesus was friends with everyone, why is that so hard for me? I believe i care less now about what people think of me, but apparently i still care enough that it guides my actions and thoughts. So what happens is i get frustrated with this area of being better, and i stick with what i'm good at: giving, encouraging. Hey, i can give a kind word to anyone, whether i like them or not. I can put the encouragement note in the mailbox and mean it. I am currently (honestly) unwilling, however, to take a relationship further if they're not "my" kind of people. I don't want to be spending my time with people i have no interest in. This is SUCH an un-Christian attitude that it disgusts me, and i don't know how to change my attitude until i remember - Jesus is the one that changes you. Which would be a great breakthrough, but that involves spending time with Him, and not just me speaking and Him listening. So this is where the stand-still is. i even have a plan and time set aside to fix this...but i have yet to start.